Trampas: Harp? Whew!!!
Harper: What's the matter with you?
Trampas: Boy, it makes my eyes water! I don't know what you're boiling in that pot, but don't expect me to eat any of it!
Harper: I don't. This is my laundry.

[After going to the water to soak her swollen ankle, a woman falls in. Trampas comes to her rescue, but thinks at first she is just having fun.]
Trampas: She's done it again. [Walks over to the water hole] I thought you were just going to soak your ankle.
Mary: I...can't...SWIM! [goes under]
Trampas: [chuckles at first, then grows quiet] Oh. [jumps in]

Trampas: Howdy. Uh, what shall I do with these?
Liz: Hmm.. Well, why don't you bring them in.
Trampas: Hey! That's a good idea! (comes in and stops across the room) Uh, where shall I put 'em?
Liz: What do you think about the floor?
Trampas: (looks down) It's nice. (stops) Oh. (Sets boxes down.)

Jim Horn: Trampas? The other night when I tried to pick that fight with you, I know what you done for me, and well, anyway, I appreciate it.
Trampas: "Well, I used to be a pretty feisty yahoo myself. So I know how it feels to be so hopping mad inside you want to take a swing at the whole cock-eyed world. The last time I tried was about eight years ago in a saloon full of cavalry troopers. It took about two black eyes and a mouthfull of knuckles to decide it wasn't too much fun when the world swung back."

Trampas: Oh, Ohhh. Well, looks like the party's over. And you did a pretty good job of keeping me here while your sister and her boyfriend pulled off another robbery.
Geraldine: Where are you going?
Trampas: To complain about the champagne. It was flat.

Trampas: How about it Stace? Want to come along?
Stacey: Nah, I've got something more exciting to do.
Trampas: Yeah? Like what?
Stacey: You know that patch of grass up on the porch?
Trampas: Yeah.
Stacey: I'm going to sit in the shade and watch it grow.
Trampas: You're going to si-- Well. Alright.

Kiley: I don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't skipped out the back of that teepee.
Rondell: I do. I was captured by those same Indians.
Kiley: Yeah?
Rondell: That's right. Just like you I was surprised they didn't kill me, but stuck me instead inside a teepee. And I want to tell you boy, if you hadn't escaped, you'd sure know what they was going to do to ya'.
Kiley: What's that?
Rondell: They were going to fatten you up, just like they did to me. Cornbread, Venison Meat, Gravy. I just couldn't figure it. Finally I saw a great big stew pot on the fire. Then I saw it. They was fattening me up to eat me.
Kiley: How'd you escape?
Rondell: Well son, I didn't. They ate me.

Trampas: So we've uh.. inherited Miss Melissa Wainwright for one week.
Virginian: Not we!
Trampas: Now wait a minute!
Virginian: Me!
Trampas: Oh.

Ranch Hand: Anybody here know how to play poker?
Dick Shane: Matter of fact, I give lessons.
Trampas: Now, that's what I like to hear. Why, I got so I know personally every dollar bill in the house. Over here, boys.

The Virginian: "You're really letting him get under your skin, aren't you."
Trampas: "Well, you're not making it any easier for me, making me work with him every day."
The Virginian: "Because he's actin' like a kid is no reason for me to treat you like one."
Trampas: "You mean to tell me with all the hired hands you've got I'm the only one that can work with Frank?"
The Virginian: "I figure you're the best one to work with Frank."