South Park Statements, aphorisms, quotes by South Park – 1,157 total
Mrs Garrison: Now put yourself in the shoes of a Muslim. It's Friday night, but you can't have sex, and you can't jack off. There's sand in your eyes and probably in the crack of your ass, and then some cartoon comes along from a country where people are getting laid, and mocks your prophet. Well you know what? I'd be pretty pissed off too!
Cartman: Mr. Garrison, that is ignorant and racist! Muslims are mad because of Family Guy, not because they can't jack off! Right, Wendy? [Wendy is surprised]
Butters: [Butters is holding a Barbie doll on his right hand, while he holds his cut out of himself on his left hand.] "Hey there, Butters, wanna slap my titties around?" Uh, no thanks, ma'am. I might get grounded again.
Kenny: I can't die. I've experienced death countless times. Sometimes, I see a bright light. Sometimes, I see Heaven or Hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed wearing my same old clothes. The worst part? No one even remembers me dying. I go to school the next day and everyone is just like "Oh, Hey Kenny," even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes.