[discussing how to please Lucius's wife.]
Titus Pullo: Also: very important. When you couple with her there's this spot just above her cunny. It's like a button. Now, attend to that button and she will open up like a flower.
Lucius Vorenus: [outraged] How do you know this about her?!
Titus Pullo: [momentarily gobsmacked] All women have them! Ask anyone!
[Pullo instructs Vorenus on the fine points of wooing.]
Titus Pullo: Now, your best method of pleasing a woman is the warm, beating heart of an enemy. Oh, women say they don't like it, but they do! Makes them wet as October!
[Caesar has sent Vorenus ahead to scout with a squadron of cavalry]
Gaius Julius Caesar: Can we trust him?
Mark Antony: Who?
Gaius Julius Caesar: Lucius Vorenus.
Mark Antony: Vorenus? Deep Thirteenth, him. He'd follow the Eagle up Pluto's arse!
Brutus: Mother, you are blinded by untapped lust. I'll get you a good big Cyrenian at the market and have done with it!
Julius Caesar: [regarding Antony's dishevelled state] You look fine exactly as you are. Like Leonidas at Thermopylae!
[Mark Antony, when discussing terms of Caesar's return to Rome]
Pompey: He sits alone in Ravenna with one mutinous skeleton of a legion and he dares to dictate terms to me!?.
Mark Antony : Caesar has many more legions than the Thirteenth.
Scipio: Yes, on the far side of the Alps.
Mark Antony: Winter does not last forever. Spring comes. Snows melt.
Scipio: That is a threat!
Mark Antony : No, I assure you, that is no threat. Snows always melt.
Atia: By the Five Furies, if I were not a genteel woman, I'd have you flayed and hung from a bracket at the door! Castor!
Castor: Yes, domina?
Atia: Fetch the dogs!
Titus Pullo: [on returning to Rome]] Here I come, girls! I'm gonna drink all the wine, smoke all the smoke, and fuck every whore in the city!
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