Asher Talos: We got caught with our pants down
Jarko Grimmwood: Pants down? They pretty much fucking ass-raped us!

Dracula: Blade. Ready to die?
Blade: [Unsheathes his sword] Was born ready, motherfucker.
Dracula: "Motherfucker". I like that.

[King laughs after causing Pac-Man and two rotweiler vampire dogs to fall to their deaths in the loby. Falls through broken skylight. Sees Jarko standing above him]
Jarko Grimmwood: Hey, dickface. You seen my dog?
Hannibal King: Have you tried the lobby? [Grimmwood grabs him by the throat] Thank you. [Grimmwood throws him against a wall] Fuck …
Jarko Grimmwood: Come on, King.
Hannibal King: … this.

Dracula: Do you know who I am?
Zoe: You're the Gnome King.
Dracula: Ah. The Gnome King. How sweet. Tell me, child, do you want to die?
Zoe: I'm not afraid. I'll go to heaven.
Dracula: There is no heaven. No God, no angels. The only thing in your future is nothingness. But what if you could change that? What if you could remain a child forever? Wouldn't you like that? Wouldn't you accept that gift?
Zoe: My friends are coming to kill you.

[Blade has just killed the vampire meeting Chief Vreede after she refuses to open a warehouse door]
Blade: Now, what's behind Door Number One?
Chief Martin Vreede: I can't tell you. They-they'll kill me.
Blade: Kill you!? Motherfucker, I'll kill you! [grabs Vreede by his jacket collar] I'll just enjoy it better.

Hannibal King: Did you see that guy? We're gonna lose, man! [Abigail takes the stake from his shoulder] God! We're going to fucking lose! What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Abigail: Shut up, king.
Hannibal King: "See you in 28 days." [laughs, Abigail holds out a vial] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that?
Abigail Whistler: It's an elastic protein. It's going to stop the hemmoraging.
Hannibal King: Is it going to hurt?
Abigail Whistler: … Yeah, it's going to sting a little.
[Abigail sprays a thick, white substance onto the wound]
Hannibal King: Fuck me! [screams]

Dracula: Look at them. Scurrying around like insects. They don't know what it's like to be immortal, or living by the sword.
Blade: You're not immortal. I must have heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.
Dracula: Perhaps I will too, then, but I think it is more likely the next time we meet, you'll fall before mine.

Dracula: [Holding a baby over the edge of a tall building] Careful, Daywalker. They've told me so much about you.
Blade: Why'd you kill Vance?
Dracula: He'd outlived his purpose. He died a good death. Quick. Clean.
Blade: I wouldn't know.
Dracula: You will.
Blade: How are you able to survive in sunlight?
Dracula: Haven't you read Stoker's fable? I was the very first vampire. I am unique.

Hannibal King: Hey Blade, I got a question for you. Let's say we succeed in wiping out all the vampires. What then, huh? Ever ask yourself that? I mean, somehow I don't picture you teaching karat-ay at the local Y.
[Blade walks away]
Hannibal King: He hates me, doesn't he?
Abigail Whistler: Yeah.

Hannibal King: We call ourselves the Nightstalkers.
Blade: Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon.
Hannibal King: Well, we were originally going to go with the Care Bears, but, uh … that was taken.