Corner Gas [Davis holds up a piece of wood and shows Wes.]
Davis: I'll give you this if you get rid of the ATM.
Wes: You're bribing me with a piece of wood?
Davis: It's not just a piece of wood, I've got a whole pile of wood. It's yours.

Stella Michael Ian Black: Do I have wood? Yeah. I've got so much wood I could be a forest right now.

Ed Wood [Ed's Baptist church sponsors dispute his directorial decisions.]
Mr. Reynolds: Mister Wood, do you know anything about the art of filmmaking?
Ed Wood: Well, I like to think so!

SpongeBob SquarePants Patrick: SpongeBob! I just remembered! Back at the craft store, I saw...!! These huge chunks of balsa wood! They were AWESOME!
SpongeBob: [sobbing] GARY LOVED BALSA WOOD!

Suite Life of Zack and Cody, The Cody: Take an easy class? Like wood shop?
Zack: What makes you think wood shop is easy?
Cody: Duh, you're taking it.

Helmut Jahn We prefer synthetic rather than natural materials. Natural products are almost too valuable. Wood is much harder to produce than metal. And metal is recyclable, while wood isn't.

Ed Wood Criswell: And who may you be?
Ed Wood: Edward D. Wood, Junior.
Criswell: Ah — the director of "Glen or Glenda".
Ed: How'd you know?
Criswell: I am Criswell. I know all.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 [As the humans climb hand-over-hand under a bridge, Caroline knocks a small chunk of wood into the river.]
Crow [as Caroline]: My piece of wood! It died so that we might live.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Charlie: I'll pull a Good Will Hunting. (To the frat boys) What's your major dude?
Frat Boy: Economics
Charlie: (In Boston accent) Oh, I bet you read a lotta Gordon Wood, huh? You read your Gordon Wood and you regurgitate it from a textbook and you think you're wicked awesome doin' that, And how 'bout 'dem apples? And all that Gordon Wood business.
Frat Boy: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Other Frat Boy: You are an idiot.
Mac: You are an idiot.
Charlie: Does no one know who Gordon Wood is?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Charlie: I see what you're saying. I could go for some wood.
Mac: Uh, no, we're saying 'wooed'.
Charlie: Yeah, cool. We'll get some wood, we'll build something cool, then we'll go get the money.
Dennis: That doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about, Charlie. We're talking about being wooed by this corporate guy...
Charlie: How are you going to be wood?