Law amp Order Ben Stone: Do you know what this is?
Convict: It's a gun.
Stone: [sarcastically] Very good, can you spell gun?
Convict: Sure. D-E-A-L.
Stone: I see you've passed the spelling test.

Law amp Order [A defendant has just punched Stone in the jaw]
Stone: It only hurts when I prosecute.

The Winter's Tale by William Shakespeare I am asham'd: does not the stone rebuke me,
For being more stone than it?

Untouchables, The [During George Stone's interview to join the Untouchables]
Malone: [piercingly] Where are you from, Stone?
Stone: [smiling] From the South Side.
Malone: "Stone?" "George Stone?" That's your name? What's your real name?
Stone: That is my real name.
Malone: Nah, what was it before you changed it?
Stone: [his smile fading] Giuseppe Petri.
Malone: Geez, I knew it! That's all you need - an italian on the team!
Stone: [offended] What's that you say?
Malone: I said that you're a lyin' member of a no-good race!
[Stone angrily slams Malone's clipboard out of his hand, whips a revolver out and puts it to his neck as he draws a baton]
Stone: [coldly] It's much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig!
Malone: [to Ness] Oh, I like him.
Ness: Yeah, I like him too.
[Malone shakes hands with Stone]
Malone: You just joined the Treasury Department, son.
Stone: Yeah, okay.

Pokémon Misty: If you can name every type of evolution stone, I'll buy dinner!
Ash: You're on! Let's see... "Thunder Stone", "Water Stone", "Moon Stone", and...uhh..."Rolling Stone"?
Misty: WRONGO! I guess dinner is on you!
Ash: BROOOOCK! If this keeps up, I'll go broke! Make Misty stop!
Brock: Actually, Ash, I was just about to compliment you on your flirtation technique.
Ash: (blushing) What flirtation!?
Misty: (blushing) Don't be reading anything on to it, okay?!

Little Miss Jocelyn People go into my toilettes weighing 10 stone. They come out, weighing 9 stone 4 pounds.

Major Payne Cadet Stone: [bursts out the door] If i'm the squad leader, my first order's to screw you, sir!
Major Payne: What you say to me, turd?
Stone: Why don't you go back to hell where you came from?
Major Payne: [approaches Stone] Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice[in Stone's face] and a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm! I will put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst!
Stone: Try it. [Payne flinches but restrains from hitting Stone]

Law amp Order [Stone is leaving the DA's office]
Schiff: I never thought I'd get a letter of resignation from you. Thought you'd be here long after I was gone.
Stone: It's not entirely about you.
Schiff: That's kind of you, thank you. Steven Green is filing an appeal.
Stone: Based on what?
Schiff: Coercion of a witness. Anne Madsen.
Stone: Considering the witness is dead, the appeals court should be amused. I brought Claire up to speed on my open cases.
Schiff: She'll be fine. And you?
Stone: I'm clear as a bell.

Law amp Order Stone: Call Cragen and tell him to pick up Masucci.
Robinette: For what?
Stone: I don't give a damn. For spitting on the sidewalk.

TMNT Y'know, the thing about you immortal stone guys, is you're immortal... And made of stone. I sound like Mikey!