Everybody Hates Chris Narrator: Tonya was such a big fan of Lisa Lisa, for a while we had to call her Tonya Tonya.

Everybody Hates Chris [Tonya is attempting to make hot chocolate while Chris is out. Rochelle finds her]]
ROCHELLE: Tonya, what're you doin'?!
TONYA: Chris did it!
ROCHELLE: ( calling upstairs ) CHRIS!
DREW: ( entering the kitchen ) Chris isn't here.
ROCHELLE: ( as Tonya stands stock still in horror ) So where is he?
DREW: I don't Know.

Everybody Hates Chris Narrator: Drew and Tonya finally settled on an activity they could both enjoy: prank phone calls.
Tonya: Do you have pig's feet?
Woman on Telephone: Yes. Yes, we do.
Tonya: Well, if you wear shoes, nobody will notice.

Everybody Hates Chris Narrator: My father could've spanked Tonya or grounded her until she was grown, but he said something that made her feel worse than all of that.
Julius: I'm really disappointed in you.
[Tonya is dressed as a geisha]
Tonya: Father, I have brought disgrace to myself and to our family. [gets out a belt]
Julius: Tonya, no!
Tonya: Leave me now, Father. I must whup myself until you can find it in your heart to forgive me. [whips herself repeatedly]

Everybody Hates Chris Rochelle: Here's how this works, Tonya. You could keep lyin' or you could tell me you took my earrings. You decide.
Tonya: You promise you won't yell?
Rochelle: I won't yell.
Tonya: I took your earrings, and I lost one.
Rochelle: DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY EARRINGS?!
Tonya: You promised you wouldn't yell!
Narrator: I've been fallin' for that one for years.
Rochelle: Do you know how valuable those earrings were, Tonya? Huh?

Everybody Hates Chris [Rochelle says that the kids always give her great Mother's Day gifts]
Chris: No we don't! We just make you some stupid gift out of macaroni
Tonya: My macaronni oven mitts were not stupid!
Drew: You're right. They weren't nearly as stupid as your macaronni hotcon.
Tonya: Shut up!
Narrator: Or your macaronni macaronni bowl.
Adult Tonya: [narrating] Hey, you shut up, too.
Narrator: Get outta my voice-over booth, woman! Save that for the show, "Everybody Hates Tonya"!
Adult Tonya: [narrating] Whatever.

Everybody Hates Chris Tonya: I have to go to the bathroom!
Chris: I told you to go at school!
Tonya: That bathroom is nasty!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 [Natalie is getting dressed for Summerfest.]
Crow: That's not Natalie, that's Tonya Harding!
...
[A grooming Natalie appraises herself in the mirror.]
Crow [as Natalie/Tonya]: You're dead, Nancy Kerrigan!

Everybody Hates Chris Rochelle: [to Tonya] What is this mess girl?
Tonya: [realising she has no scapegoat] I was just trying to make hot chocolate.
Rochelle: [firmly] I don't want you foolin' around with this hot chocolate again, do you hear me? [as Chris enters] Now get upstairs before I make yo' behind hot!
Narrator: I thought I'd see George Bush in a do-rag before Tonya got in trouble.

Everybody Hates Chris Narrator: It took us about an hour to get my mother off of Tonya's behind, but eventually, Tonya did eat her sausage. And as for my mother, well, to this very day, she still ain't raisin' no babies.