Tonya's quotes, aphorisms, statements, say
Everybody Hates Chris [Tonya is attempting to make hot chocolate while Chris is out. Rochelle finds her]]
ROCHELLE: Tonya, what're you doin'?!
TONYA: Chris did it!
ROCHELLE: ( calling upstairs ) CHRIS!
DREW: ( entering the kitchen ) Chris isn't here.
ROCHELLE: ( as Tonya stands stock still in horror ) So where is he?
DREW: I don't Know.
Everybody Hates Chris Narrator: Drew and Tonya finally settled on an activity they could both enjoy: prank phone calls.
Tonya: Do you have pig's feet?
Woman on Telephone: Yes. Yes, we do.
Tonya: Well, if you wear shoes, nobody will notice.
Everybody Hates Chris Narrator: My father could've spanked Tonya or grounded her until she was grown, but he said something that made her feel worse than all of that.
Julius: I'm really disappointed in you.
[Tonya is dressed as a geisha]
Tonya: Father, I have brought disgrace to myself and to our family. [gets out a belt]
Julius: Tonya, no!
Tonya: Leave me now, Father. I must whup myself until you can find it in your heart to forgive me. [whips herself repeatedly]
Everybody Hates Chris Rochelle: Here's how this works, Tonya. You could keep lyin' or you could tell me you took my earrings. You decide.
Tonya: You promise you won't yell?
Rochelle: I won't yell.
Tonya: I took your earrings, and I lost one.
Rochelle: DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY EARRINGS?!
Tonya: You promised you wouldn't yell!
Narrator: I've been fallin' for that one for years.
Rochelle: Do you know how valuable those earrings were, Tonya? Huh?
Everybody Hates Chris [Rochelle says that the kids always give her great Mother's Day gifts]
Chris: No we don't! We just make you some stupid gift out of macaroni
Tonya: My macaronni oven mitts were not stupid!
Drew: You're right. They weren't nearly as stupid as your macaronni hotcon.
Tonya: Shut up!
Narrator: Or your macaronni macaronni bowl.
Adult Tonya: [narrating] Hey, you shut up, too.
Narrator: Get outta my voice-over booth, woman! Save that for the show, "Everybody Hates Tonya"!
Adult Tonya: [narrating] Whatever.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 [Natalie is getting dressed for Summerfest.]
Crow: That's not Natalie, that's Tonya Harding!
[A grooming Natalie appraises herself in the mirror.]
Crow [as Natalie/Tonya]: You're dead, Nancy Kerrigan!
Everybody Hates Chris Rochelle: [to Tonya] What is this mess girl?
Tonya: [realising she has no scapegoat] I was just trying to make hot chocolate.
Rochelle: [firmly] I don't want you foolin' around with this hot chocolate again, do you hear me? [as Chris enters] Now get upstairs before I make yo' behind hot!
Narrator: I thought I'd see George Bush in a do-rag before Tonya got in trouble.