Venture Bros., The Soldier 1: Who was that?
Soldier 2: Brock fucking Samson!
Soldier 1: No way! Dibs on his cigarette butt!

Uncle Sam by Steve Darnell and Alex Ross Soldier 1: They raised a white flag.
Soldier 2: Thought they could decoy us.
Soldier 1: We were a little to clever for them!

Goodness Gracious Me Gestapo official: Wohin fahren Sie?
British Asian soldier: Stuttgart.
Official: Danke. [as soldier boards the bus] Good luck!
Soldier: Shukriya. [realises, then runs]

History of the World Part I Stoned Roman Soldier 1 - (very stoned) So, do you care if it falls?
Stoned Roman Soldier 2 - (equally high) What?
Stoned Roman Soldier 1 - The Roman Empire.
Stoned Roman Soldier 2 - Fuck it!

M A S H Soldier: Am I all right? I can't feel anything in my legs.
Charles: Try to hang on. We're going to get you to a MASH unit and they'll patch you up just fine.
Soldier: I don't know if I can, Doc. I feel real weird.
Charles: Just stay with it.
Soldier: Doc?
Charles: Hm?
Soldier: You still there?
Charles: Sure.
Soldier: I can't see you, hold my hand.
Charles: I am holding it.
Soldier: I can't feel it. Oh God, I'm gonna die.
Charles: Can you hear me?
Soldier: Yes.
Charles (crying): What is happening to you? Can you feel anything? See anything? Please, I have to know. What is happening to you?
Soldier: I smell bread.
Charles: I don't understand.
(soldier dies)

Stargate Atlantis Soldier: Bacon.
Other Soldier: The one thing you wish you brought with you is bacon.
Soldier: Hey, it's the food that makes other food worth eating
Other Soldier: You wish you brought bacon to another galaxy?

Avatar The Last Airbender Soldier 1: Hey! Did you throw that egg?
Zuko: No.
Soldier 1: Did you see who did it?
Zuko: No.
Soldier 1: That egg had to've come from somewhere.
Zuko: Maybe a chicken flew over.

Mulan Soldier: [Showing his Dragon Tattoo to Ling & Yao] This tattoo will protect me from harm.
Yao: [Thinking] Hmmm.. '[Punches the soldier in his gut, making the soldier fall to the ground]
Ling: [Laughing] I hope you get your money back!

M A S H (A soldier loads the toilet seats into a truck)
Frank: If I get splinters, I'll have your stripes.
Soldier: I'm a private.
Frank: Don't pull rank on ME!

Fast Show, The [Triumphant chivalrous music. Swords in the air]
English soldier #1: We shall be victorious! We will slay those French dogs!
English soldier #2: Aye! We'll cut them down like so many sheeths of weed!
English soldier #1: God is on our side! The French are devils!
English soldier #3: Oh no, they're not too bad, are they? Their dress sense is vastly superior to ours. Their woman are better looking. Their cooking is brilliant. And their language... Ma jolie!
[Other soldiers look on menacingly]
English soldier #3: I'll get me cloak!