The Golden Palace Blanche: Roland, I am not in a good mood right now.
Roland: Have you tried singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah"?

Army Wives [Joan has just vomited into a trash can as Roland arrives home with dinner.]
Roland: Sorry I'm late. I got dinner.
Joan: I already had dinner. It's in the trash can!
Roland: I see.
[Roland walks over and starts to set the food on the desk next to Joan.]
Joan: Oh baby, whatever that is, it's - it's not welcome here!

Knight's Tale, A [Roland checking the pulse of their knight]
Roland: He's dead.
William: Dead? What do you mean dead?
Roland: : The spark of his life is smothered in shite, his soul is gone but his stench remains, does that answer your question?!"

Army Wives [Roxy has announced that she and Trevor finally went a night without having sex]
Claudia Joy: I'm impressed.
Pamela: I'm jealous.
Denise: I'm speechless.
[all girls turn to Roland]
Roland: I'm not here. Please leave a message.

Army Wives Pamela: [Seeing the look on Roland's face as she gives birth] You having a good time?
Roland: Let's just say childbirth is disgusting as it is miraculous.

Jurassic Park The Lost World Peter Ludlow: Roland, there's a job for you in San Diego if you want it.
Roland Tembo: No thank you. I believe I've spent enough time in the company of death.

Army Wives [Joan notices the large stack of baby books on the coffee table in front of Roland.]
Joan: Whoa! Will there be a quiz?
Roland: Every day until college!

CSI NY Mac [to Roland Carson]: You, uh... you recognize anyone?
Roland Carson: Should I?
Mac: They're the men who broke into your apartment last night. They're also former clients of yours. You care to explain that?
Roland Carson: I've defended a lot of criminals, Detective. It's my job.
Mac: That's not an answer.
Roland Carson: I don't know what else to tell you. Maybe you should ask one of them.
Mac: They're a little bit dead right now. Killed with a handgun registered to you.

CSI NY Roland Carson: Wait... where's the ring? Diamonds, emeralds. It's an heirloom. It's worth a million at least, Detective.
Mac: What you see is what we found in the trunk of Belson's car.
Roland Carson: Can't be. Maybe Belson kept it with him somehow.
Mac: Ah, they usually check prisoners for heirlooms at Rikers.
Roland Carson: It's the most important piece here.
Mac: Mr. Carson, these gems have been all over the city, in and out of many hands. The ring could've gotten lost anywhere.
Roland Carson: That's not good enough, Detective.
Mac: Sue me.

The Golden Palace Roland: It's not up to us to make moral judgements about the people staying in this hotel. [notices sign reading "Daughters of the Traditional South" in the lobby] "Daughters of the Traditional South?" Those bigots in bonnets aren't staying in this hotel!
Blanche: Roland, there is nothing wrong with the Daughters of the Traditional South!
Roland: Oh, I see; when they put those sheets on over their heads it must be some kind of salute to Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Rose: Ooh, when is that?