Metalocalypse Nathan: Guys I've been crunching numbers and financially... I don't know how to say this but we're fucked. Thanks to Murderface's sandscape, we're in the red. Good one Murderface.
Murderface: [stares and says nothing]

Metalocalypse [Toki and Dr. Rockso sneak into the Mordhaus after joyriding and drinking in Murderface's car. Dr. Rockso sits on the couch and slips a hand into Murderface's pocket to return the keys. Murderface awakens and glares at Rockso]
Dr. Rockso: [whispers] I do cocaine.
[Murderface yells in outrage, and Dr. Rockso yells along gleefully.]

Metalocalypse Murderface: Oh look, firecrackers!
Nathan: Oh, let's steal them!
Murderface: I remember when I was a child -

Metalocalypse Murderface: [reads his shopping list] Hey grandma, is there olives in it?
Old Lady: In what?
Murderface: Lemon tart, Wrinkle-tits! Jeezees!
Old Lady: [shocked gasp]
Murderface: Good, then it's pee-pee time! [starts urinating on the olives]

Metalocalypse Twinkletits: What happened back there?
Murderface: I don't care.
Twinkletits: Hey, I've got an idea. [Removes glasses.] Let's rock talk!
Murderface: No!
Twinkletits: C'mon, don't you wanna get in touch with you know, your - your inner dude?
Murderface: No thanks, I hate that guy.
Twinkletits: Now we're getting somewhere! Let's rock talk about that!
Murderface: I don't wanna.
Twinkletits: Hmm. What a shame, you know. Guess I'll just have to, you know, hold onto all these banana stickers, I got like a million -
Murderface: [eyes widen] Okay, I'll rock talk.
Twinkletits: Good. I want you to tell me about young Murderface. Tell me a nice story about when Murderface was just a little tiny boy.
Murderface: Well, okay, here goes.

Metalocalypse Murderface: There you are, you scumbag!
Toki: [stomping the annoying fan's face into the ground] I'LL KILL YOU!!! [Murderface gapes in astonishment and fear. Toki turns towards him with an insane look] WHATS THE FUCKS DO YOU WANT, MOTHERFUCKER?!?!?!
Murderface:.... What's up bro? What's happenin', huh?

Metalocalypse Murderface (voice-over): Over a million babies and ladies die every hemisecond. That's why I use Murder Knobs.
Murderface: Doorknobs for a new world.

Metalocalypse Murderface: [Natahn, Murderface and Pickles are outside Skwisgaars room] Okay you two, being a dick takes a lot of work. The objective guys, is to drive somebody crazy.
Pickles & Nathan: Yeah, alright.
Murderface: Skwisgaar's in there practicing away, let's drive him crazy. Follow my lead, and try to keep up...

Metalocalypse General Crozier: Freaks.
Senator Stampingston: These freaks as you call them are currently worth billions. Gentlemen: [echoing opening theme lines] Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree; Toki Wartooth, not a bumble bee; William Murderface, Murderface, Murderface; Pickles, the drummer - doodily-doo, ding-dong doodily, doodily doo; Nathan Explosion. I'm afraid that's all we know, gentlemen.

Metalocalypse Murderface: So wait, just so i understand, you're all passing on Takin' it Easy?
Nathan: Yeah, We pass.
Murderface: I can't even begin to believe that. You know what! Fuck YOU! I'm keeping that song for Planet Piss.
Toki: So I'ms in Planet Piss now?
Murderface: NO! Fuck you, you're not in Planet Piss! You fucking greedy asshole! No.\
Toki: I'll fucking sues you Murderface! Thats mine!