Zoey 101 Chase: (to Drake) Hey you're Drake Bell!
Drake: Yes, I am.

Drake amp Josh Girl: Drake's innocent, and cute!
Drake: Who are you?
Girl: You draw so cool!
Drake: Uh... thanks?
Mr. Thompson: Please take your seat.
Girl: Free Drake! Free Drake! Free Drake! I love you. Bye! (Runs back to her seat)
Mindy:...(Mindy stares at Girl) Now I am GAY!

Drake amp Josh Josh: Hey Drake, wanna take a cooking class together?
Drake: [from another room, in a high-pitched voice] Sorry, Drake moved to Australia.
Josh: That's not even an Australian accent!
Drake: Yes it is...fromage!
Josh: That's French!

Drake amp Josh Josh: [seeing Drake kissing a girl] Drake?
Drake: Yeah?
Josh: You just met her and you're already kissing?
Drake: I gave her a soda.

Drake amp Josh Drake: I like to earn my money the old fashioned way.
Josh: How?
Drake: Selling your stuff on eBay.
Josh: Yeah, right. [finds that his stereo is missing]
Josh: Uh, Drake, where's my stereo?
Drake: Wisconsin.
Josh: Aww...

Drake amp Josh Drake: Hey Josh, come here.
Josh: [walks over] Yeah?
Drake: Check out this family picture.
Josh: What about it?
Drake: I look good.

Drake amp Josh Drake: Two for two.
Josh: [runs in] Drake!
Drake: [pulling back the sling] Not now. I'm busy.
Josh: Mindy just told me she loves me!
Drake: [shocked, accidentally releases his sling and hits Josh's eye] What?!
Josh: OH! [falls down to the ground]

Drake amp Josh Drake: Okay, let's go and get Megan!
Josh: Okay, but first...
Drake: What?
Josh: I gotta pee really bad.
Drake: Well, can't you hold it?
Josh: Yeah, I... [strained] No!

Drake amp Josh Drake: Josh, what did you do?
Josh: What do you mean, Drake?
Drake: It's all candy and junk food.
Josh: [matter-of-factly] Yes. I suppose it is!
Drake: But, Josh, how did you--?
[Josh raises big candy cane in front of Drake] Shh
Josh: Don't ask. [eats a piece of candy] Just enjoy.

Drake amp Josh Mrs. Hayfer: Well, Drake....this isn't easy for me to admit, but I was wrong. I'm sorry.
Drake: Oh, thank you.
Mrs. Hayfer: I still hate you.
Drake: I know.