Beavis and Butthead Do America [Beavis is humping the couch]
Butt-head: Ugh! What are you doing, Beavis?
Beavis: Doin' my monkey boy.
Butt-head: Dammit Beavis, get down!
Beavis: I am gettin' down! Rat-a-tat-tat-d'atass...

Beavis and Butthead Do America Beavis: I'm gonna go to the kitchen.
Butt-head: Why?
Beavis: 'Cause I have to take a leak.
Butt-head: Uh... you mean the bathroom, Beavis.
Beavis: Um... oh yeah, didn't really matter. [Beavis gets up and leaves]
Butt-head: You should stick around, Beavis, because later on, you could see her... epidermis.
Beavis: Um... OK, maybe I'll stick around for a couple of minutes.

Beavis and Butthead Do America Beavis: Whoa, check this out! See, he's coming in, he's delivering room service...
Butt-head: [interrupting] Dammit Beavis! [slaps Beavis]
Beavis: Oh, sorry. Yeah, I forgot. Yeah, this is exciting! Yeah, yeah.

Beavis and Butthead Do America Butt-head: Uh!
[Beavis does a spit take]
Beavis: UUAUGH!!!! AAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Butt-head: UUHH!!!
Beavis: CHANGE IT, BUTT-HEAD!!!!
Butt-head: AUGH!
Beavis: CHANGE IT!!!! COME ON!!!!
Butt-head: Augh!
Beavis: COME ON, BUTT-HEAD, CHANGE IT, CHANGE IT!!!!!!!!!
Butt-head: Come on, Beavis, just check it out.
Beavis: [butting in] CHANGE IT!!! Aah!
Butt-head: I think this is one of those, like, coffee commercials. [singing badly] THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP!
Beavis: "Remember that café in Paris?"
Butt-head: Yeah!
Beavis and Butt-head: "JEAN PIERE!"
Butt-head: This sucks!
Beavis: Yeah really!

Beavis and Butthead Do America Beavis: Hey Butt-head, change it, come on, this sucks.
Butt-head: Uh, let's just cool out for a minute, Beavis.
Beavis: Ummmmmmmmmm.......

Beavis and Butthead Do America Butt-head: Uhh, she's naked again!
Beavis: Ooh yeah! Whoa, you can see her rump!
Butt-head: Her what?
Beavis: Her rump!
Butt-head: You mean her butt, Beavis?
Beavis: No, no, her rump. That's the part off to the side.
Butt-head: It's called a butt, Beavis.
Beavis: Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I just get tired of saying "butt" sometimes. I thought I'd throw rump in.

Beavis and Butthead Do America Butt-head: Uh...wait a minute, Beavis. That's a dude! [Beavis screams] You want to make love to a dude, Beavis!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up! You said you wanted to do him too!
Butt-head: No I didn't, Beavis.
Beavis: Yes you did! You said "Yeah, I wanna do her, come to Butt-head!"
Butt-head: No, I didn't, Beavis! Shut up before I kick you a new bunghole! [singing] Beavis wants to make love to a dude...
Beavis: SHUT UP, BUTT-HEAD! Whoa, it's Matt Pinfield!
Butt-head: You wanna do it with him too, Beavis?
Beavis: SHUT UP, BUTT-HEAD! I'm serious! I'm gonna haul off and kick you in the nads!
Butt-head: [Laughs] Beavis is a lesbian.

Beavis and Butthead Do America Butt-head: Hey Beavis, you know what sucks?
Beavis: AH! NO!
Butt-head: Damnit Beavis, shut up. It really sucks when you do that.
Beavis: AH! NO!

Beavis and Butthead Do America Beavis: What language is this?
Butt-head: Uh...I think it's like...French.
Beavis: Really?
Butt-head: Or Mexican, or something.
Beavis: I can sing in French; check this out. [Beavis sings in a fake Japanese accent; the only coherent words are "taco supremo]
Butt-head: That was pretty good, Beavis! You sound just like those dudes.

Beavis and Butthead Do America Butt-head: I didn't know something could kick this much ass.
Beavis: Yeah! Oh yeah, that's cool. That's wild.
[Beavis and Butt-head are both laughing hysterically]
Beavis: Ooh, she's got a bunch of arms...
Butt-head: Yeah!
Butt-head: Wow!
Beavis: That was cool!
Butt'head: That's unbelievable!
Beavis: Boy, I haven't seen a video in a while, that is really great!
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, got any more nutmeg?
Butt-head: I don't think so.
Beavis: That's okay. That's okay, man. I don't need any.